$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
