she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
