he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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