i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
smell my finger.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
