Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All I want is dick and wine.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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