shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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