kristin has been a bad kristin
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
