Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
