she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
there is glitter all over my balls
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
