Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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