"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
