We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
