goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
