good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
