Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is the high leading the old right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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