I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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