OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
