I accidentally had phone sex last night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
did you just send me my own nude
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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