you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Randomize
