i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
