why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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