It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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