SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pray to the hookup gods
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
