He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
