He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
