you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
