Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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