Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
