Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
this is an emotional support booty call
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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