I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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