my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he was CRYING into my vagina
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
