what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
