What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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