Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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