I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
