In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
