if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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