So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
