Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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