i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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