he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
