I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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