I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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