Apparently you make a good broom.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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