Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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