he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
