You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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