I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
