One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize