i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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