ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
