$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
