What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
