What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
