The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
