Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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