I just pynch a tree in the face
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize