It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
