talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
