I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
