I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize