The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
