then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
