I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize