yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
