I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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