She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize