I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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