anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
