Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
