i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
