i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
