And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
